The omnipresent San Francisco fog hung above our home's walled-in "patio," a space that could fit two bodies and perhaps a cat. This was where my mother would repair to for her smokes, sitting on the floor, letting the plume of her cigarette and her thoughts rise upward. This was where I would look for her first when I needed her ear; I like to think that as I got older I asked permission to join her out there, but with the proprietary nature of my love, I knew full well she would never turn me away in favor of a well-deserved moment of silence. And so I would hang on the ladder that led up to the rooftop and deliver my endless monologues. And she would listen, her responses only sometimes delayed by the singeing sound of her smoky inhalations. Wherever my mother found herself in our house, at least one of us (including the cat) was within the sphere of her auditory capabilities. When she died, the center of our universe fell away. Eighteen years later I still write to her. And she is as captive an audience as ever.
i have a theory that playing music is 90% listening. that explains why yours is so good! and also why it's so hard to make a record over the web. how do you respond to that sidelong glance or wink from a bandmate?
am also having a hard time trying to figure out how (or if) to reconcile with the work of artists which was once transcendent but now seems repulsive. part of that is despair over their failure to see the big picture (i think a lot of the famous ones have been blackmailed or threatened into being part of the propaganda and terror campaign) but part of that is also needing more than they had to offer.
most of those gorgeous old songs weren't written in an era of comfort and egalitarianism. those musicians had to contend with regimes which were authoritarian and arbitrary and cruel, if not as sadistic as the globalists who want to reduce us to a mass of data in their machine. couldn't agree more that an artist's responsibility in 2023 is to reflect the reality we're all dealing with, whether that's confronting it directly or simply offering some kind of solace and hope. you've articulated it better than i can.
Your writing melted into my system and body like warm Manuka honey!!!It resonated with me on many levels and helped keep my hand carrying the torch of light just a little more stable,i can hold it tighter for myself and for everything in the universe.I listened with my pine cone and found many particles of gold dust.I found i was listening to an old friend.Thank you.
Thank you, for this beautifully written, heart felt essay. I found this through Tessa Lens’s Substack (thank you, Tessa!). As a mother of a 15 year old daughter I relate so deeply to experiencing heartbreak about living in this age of increasing messaging that undermines and separates us from our deepest, almost inexplicable mothering wisdom and instincts. For me it feels disorienting and soul crushing at times and yet I find myself clearer about what I now to be true. And how beautifully you wove into my heart your stories of listening.
Your voice in this essay, our voices in whatever small and large we are able to use them (and whether they are spoken or form deeply in our heart and radiate from there), hold so much power to bring us back into alignment to that deeper wisdom as mothers and as human on this planet. Thank you🙏💚🕊
Your writing is such a gift to the world. I can only subscribe to help support a very, very small fraction of the Substack writers that I read. I just subscribed to yours. May other readers that can, do the same today.
What a joy to see a new writing from you today, Anais. You are one of the writers I have most appreciated these past couple of years. Your thoughtful reflections are like a quiet walk on a newly discovered trail through familiar woods. I very much appreciate the way you weave together your personal reflections with the inescapable societal realities of our time. Thank you thank you thank you.
Feb 10, 2023·edited Feb 10, 2023Liked by Anais Tekerian
A great stream of thoughts that we are all dealing with one way or another in these "zombie" post apocalyptic times.
Yep, they treat the symptom as the cause.
It's like the current educated people have a lot of "book knowledge" but lack basic logic. In fact, they have a magical thinking which we saw kick in during COVID, where the established virology was ignored in favor of contradictory policies (run by politics).
That's why despite all the advances, cancer, diabetes, and other issues just have been increasing.
Viruses are another way to hide the real causes of illnesses.
"When I think of the people in my life whose listening skills I am in awe of they all have in common groundedness combined with humility." I have noticed the same. And truly when you do deepen into listening it's as if a 'key' is invisibly granted, and meaning shows up; the universe is clearly communicating with us. As your subway platform story conveys so well.
I look forward to reading more of your work. Best.
Anais this is fire. all of it.
i have a theory that playing music is 90% listening. that explains why yours is so good! and also why it's so hard to make a record over the web. how do you respond to that sidelong glance or wink from a bandmate?
am also having a hard time trying to figure out how (or if) to reconcile with the work of artists which was once transcendent but now seems repulsive. part of that is despair over their failure to see the big picture (i think a lot of the famous ones have been blackmailed or threatened into being part of the propaganda and terror campaign) but part of that is also needing more than they had to offer.
most of those gorgeous old songs weren't written in an era of comfort and egalitarianism. those musicians had to contend with regimes which were authoritarian and arbitrary and cruel, if not as sadistic as the globalists who want to reduce us to a mass of data in their machine. couldn't agree more that an artist's responsibility in 2023 is to reflect the reality we're all dealing with, whether that's confronting it directly or simply offering some kind of solace and hope. you've articulated it better than i can.
You are just so incredibly talented, my dear. Please write more often!! xo
Thank you to Tessa for introducing me to you. This is poignantly and hauntingly beautiful. It healed something I didn't know needed healing.
Beautifully written. Thank you 🙏.
Your writing melted into my system and body like warm Manuka honey!!!It resonated with me on many levels and helped keep my hand carrying the torch of light just a little more stable,i can hold it tighter for myself and for everything in the universe.I listened with my pine cone and found many particles of gold dust.I found i was listening to an old friend.Thank you.
Thank you, for this beautifully written, heart felt essay. I found this through Tessa Lens’s Substack (thank you, Tessa!). As a mother of a 15 year old daughter I relate so deeply to experiencing heartbreak about living in this age of increasing messaging that undermines and separates us from our deepest, almost inexplicable mothering wisdom and instincts. For me it feels disorienting and soul crushing at times and yet I find myself clearer about what I now to be true. And how beautifully you wove into my heart your stories of listening.
Your voice in this essay, our voices in whatever small and large we are able to use them (and whether they are spoken or form deeply in our heart and radiate from there), hold so much power to bring us back into alignment to that deeper wisdom as mothers and as human on this planet. Thank you🙏💚🕊
Your writing is such a gift to the world. I can only subscribe to help support a very, very small fraction of the Substack writers that I read. I just subscribed to yours. May other readers that can, do the same today.
What a joy to see a new writing from you today, Anais. You are one of the writers I have most appreciated these past couple of years. Your thoughtful reflections are like a quiet walk on a newly discovered trail through familiar woods. I very much appreciate the way you weave together your personal reflections with the inescapable societal realities of our time. Thank you thank you thank you.
A great stream of thoughts that we are all dealing with one way or another in these "zombie" post apocalyptic times.
Yep, they treat the symptom as the cause.
It's like the current educated people have a lot of "book knowledge" but lack basic logic. In fact, they have a magical thinking which we saw kick in during COVID, where the established virology was ignored in favor of contradictory policies (run by politics).
That's why despite all the advances, cancer, diabetes, and other issues just have been increasing.
Viruses are another way to hide the real causes of illnesses.
https://off-guardian.org/2022/08/05/the-covid-shell-game/
And the history of polio, what really caused it?
http://www.williamengdahl.com/englishNEO12July2022.php
Yes!
Beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
I've been a synchronicity attender for 40+ years.
What a beautiful read. Thank you.
"When I think of the people in my life whose listening skills I am in awe of they all have in common groundedness combined with humility." I have noticed the same. And truly when you do deepen into listening it's as if a 'key' is invisibly granted, and meaning shows up; the universe is clearly communicating with us. As your subway platform story conveys so well.
I look forward to reading more of your work. Best.